


Finding Your Pride

by WishingOnWhishaw



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: (only a little bit), Comfort, Coming Out, Dysphoria, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, Prompt Fill, Trans Male Character, Tumblr Prompt, trans Matt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 05:59:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6644155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingOnWhishaw/pseuds/WishingOnWhishaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt's got seven lovers, and only one of them knows that Matt is trans. He decides he should bring them all up to speed, despite his worries about losing the best thing he's ever had if he tells them.</p>
<p>Written for an anon on tumblr who said: "personally im a big sucker for fhot7/8/9 whatever and transguy matt So. idk this isnt much of a prompt but Alas"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Your Pride

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty much just all fluff, and I'm not even sorry. I love trans guy Matt, and I hope that writing about him coming out isn't too much of a cliché or anything. Also, sorry that it's ot8 and not ot9; I haven't seen enough of Omar to feel confident in writing him yet.  
> Just as a disclaimer: Matt's preferences and the attitudes that he has towards his body are not indicative of all trans people, and shouldn't be taken as a universal representation of what trans people are and are not comfortable with. 
> 
> Feedback, constructive criticism and general comments are welcome, as usual. Go forth and enjoy!

The beginnings of their relationship were weird, with no clear cut shift from co-workers or friends to lovers. Of course, James and Elyse were already together, and Adam and Matt had been a thing on and off since their college days. Then different people ended up hitting on other members of the group, and they gradually formed one huge web of relationships. Which was fine, honestly, only it left Matt in a bit of an uneasy state, because he hadn’t sat down and told any of them. When he and Adam got together, when Adam had admitted his feeling, Matt had blurted out his secret like some kind of disclaimer he had an obligation to provide. He was so used to it being a deal breaker, couldn’t take it if Adam found out later and hated him for it. It was easier to get it out of the way then, before Matt got too close. Only Adam hadn’t cared, had shrugged like it was no big deal and told Matt that it made no difference to how he felt. Matt spent that night with his head buried in Adam’s chest mumbling how grateful he was.  
  
Matt didn’t get to do that with anyone else, because the nature of their relationship evolved so slowly. Before he knew it, Matt was suddenly dating seven other people, and six of them had no idea that Matt was trans. It made him nervous, made him worry that some or all of them wouldn’t be okay with it, and this amazing thing that they had would be ruined, all because of him. One night, as he lay with his head in Adam’s lap, watching his boyfriend play GTA, he brought the issue up.  
  
“Do you think I need to tell everyone?” He said suddenly, out of the blue, and Adam’s brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what Matt was talking about. Adam’s character died onscreen, then he looked down at the other man.  
  
“Tell them what?”  
  
“That I’m trans,” Matt sighed, reminding Adam of how much he hated talking about this, even with him.  
  
“Oh. I don’t know. Do you want to tell them?” He questioned gently, respawning in the game and averting his gaze back to the TV.  
  
“I feel like I have to.”  
  
“I know you do,” Adam replied patiently. “But that’s not what I asked. You’re not obligated to tell everyone just because we’re dating.”  
  
“I just feel like I’m lying to them,” Matt mumbled, a reel of bad experiences playing through his mind.  
  
“You’re not lying about anything, Matt. They think you’re a guy, and you are a guy.”  
  
“Yeah, but not a real—”  
  
“Matt,” Adam cut in sternly, stopping the words and the train of thought before they got too far. “Don’t say stuff like that. It’s not true.” Matt heaved another heavy sigh, appreciating Adam’s attempt to dispel his sudden outbreak of dysphoria.  
  
“Not everyone thinks like you do, Adam. I’ve had more people call me a liar than welcome me with open arms,” he pointed out, sounding tired. Adam hated being reminded of people who were rude to Matt, who dismissed this man despite him being so kind and caring to everyone else. Adam knew their partners weren’t like that.  
  
“Nobody’s gonna call you a liar, or be mad at you if and when you tell them.”  
  
“You can’t know that,” Matt protested.  
  
“I can, because I know them. And you know them too, you know they wouldn’t do that to you, they’re not that kind of people.” Matt shook his head, still not convinced.  
  
“In my experience, making that assumption leads to bad things,” he said in a small voice before pushing himself up out of Adam’s lap and off the couch altogether. “I’m going to bed. See you tomorrow,” he called as he walked from the room, leaving Adam sat in a shocked silence, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do with that. Matt clearly didn’t want to talk about it, but Adam couldn’t leave it like that, not when Matt was clearly so stressed about the others finding out. He’d let Matt sleep for now, but they’d have to have a discussion about it sooner or later.  


* * *

   
Later ended up meaning two weeks, as Matt was an expert in subtly avoiding questions and topics which he didn’t want to talk about. Adam could only ever bring it up when they were alone, and it was clear that Matt was avoiding him, probably because he knew Adam would want to talk. Matt didn’t want to talk about it, but he also didn’t want to distance himself from Adam, and so eventually he had to agree to go around his boyfriend’s house when Adam proposed a Netflix date night with Chinese food. Adam was tactful enough not to bring it up right away, waited until they were comfortable, Matt curled into his side and munching on lo mein until Adam said anything.  
  
“I know you’re still worried,” Adam stated casually, feeling Matt tense for a moment against him before the smaller man let out a heavy sigh, setting his half-eaten carton of food on the coffee table.  
  
“I’m just scared of losing them, or of fucking all of this up,” he admitted, knowing that Adam wouldn’t let him run from this any longer.  
  
“Matt, they love you; nothing’s gonna change.”  
  
“That hasn’t stopped people in the past,” he mumbled, just loud enough for Adam to catch what he’d said. Adam finally turned his attention away from the TV, looked down to see Matt hadn’t done the same. He gave his boyfriend a comforting squeeze, pulling Matt in a little closer.  
  
“You wanna talk about it?”  
  
“Not really,” Matt admitted. “You don’t need to hear about my shitty childhood right now, I… I just don’t want to ruin anything.”  
  
“You thought that about me, remember?” Adam replied lightly, managing a small smile. “You thought as soon as I knew that it would mess everything up for us, but that didn’t happen. And the guys, they’re really not gonna think any differently about you.”  
  
“That was different,” Matt tried to argue. “If you didn’t like it then I could’ve just found a new roommate. If this backfires, I still have to work with everyone, I still have to see them and have them hate me and—”  
  
“None of us will hate you, Matt,” Adam insisted. “I know you’re scared, and that’s okay. I’m not saying you have to rush out and tell everyone right away. But when the time comes, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.”  
  
“You really think they’ll be okay with it?” Matt finally replied, after several long moments of thinking over what Adam had said.  
  
“I really do,” Adam answered confidently, pressing a kiss to the top of Matt’s head.  


* * *

   
Matt decided to tell them all in stages. A part of him still worried about the potential rejection, and if any of them did lash out at him, he would rather it not be all at once whilst everyone was there. He started planning in his head how he would do it, thinking of the best times, the best things to say. He wasn’t sure if he had the courage to reveal this information about himself, but a part of him knew it was something the rest of his partners would find out eventually, and reasoned that he would rather it be on his own terms, when Matt was in control of the situation. He couldn’t run from this forever, and really, he hated having to hide himself from the people he loved.  
  
He decided he would tell Bruce first, simply because they shared an apartment. Out of the group, Bruce was probably someone Matt spent the most time with, and so it made sense for him to tell Bruce before anyone else. Only Matt’s ‘telling Bruce’ was less telling and more showing. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, hoped if he opted for the subtlety approach then it might have been easier.  
  
As well as Matt passed, there were still parts of his body which gave him away, and hiding these on a daily basis became tiring. Matt would be glad when he didn’t have to worry about it any longer. So he just stopped worrying. He stopped being cautious of his roommate, stopped overthinking everything he did. Matt stepped out of the bathroom one morning after having taken a shower, towel wrapped around his waist and his mind void of any self-conscious thoughts for a change. Usually he tried to avoid being around Bruce when he was this underdressed, as even though he was happy with his chest now, the signs of his surgery were still there, and he had never felt up to explaining them. He’d yet to get any further than kissing with anyone in their relationship, with the exception of Adam, and so he’d never had to be shirtless and up close enough to someone that they could see his scars. But Matt really was tired of running from this discussion, and the conversation he’d had with Adam a few days ago had instilled a new sense of confidence in him.  
  
He was making his way to his room when Bruce called to him from down the hall, and whereas before Matt may have told him to wait, would’ve rushed to get dressed and cover himself up, now he just strolled towards the source of the noise. Bruce was in the kitchen, brows furrowed as he leaned down and squinted at the coffee machine.  
  
“What’s up?” Matt questioned, amusement lacing his voice. The question prompted Bruce to stand up straight, to spin around and face his boyfriend. The surprised expression on his face at the sight he was met with made Matt chuckle softly. When Bruce didn’t respond, simply stood there with his mouth open, Matt moved in closer, investigating what the other man had been having trouble with.  
  
“Nothing!” Bruce finally answered when Matt was beside him, snapping out of whatever trance he’d gone into. “Nothing’s wrong, I just wanted to ask if you wanted a coffee to go,” he explained quickly. Matt smirked, arching a brow at Bruce’s flushed cheeks and rushed words.  
  
“Sure you’re okay there?” He asked, teasing. Matt watched Bruce suck in a deep breath before he nodded as calmly as he could.  
  
“Yeah, just… You’re still naked. And wet,” he supplied feebly. Matt’s eyebrows shot up at the blunt statement, and he tilted his head up to meet Bruce’s eyes.  
  
“Sorry?” He tried, unsure if Bruce was complaining or just stating the obvious.  
  
“Don’t be,” Bruce said, barely letting Matt get the apology out. “It’s fine, it’s… More than fine. It’s a nice view.”  
  
“Is it?” Matt asked sceptically, looking down at himself. His confidence may have grown a little, but he hadn’t been overcome with vanity just yet.  
  
“Definitely,” replied Bruce, voice brimming with confidence. When Matt looked up, the space that had existed between Bruce and himself was no more. He could feel Bruce’s breath and the weight of his gaze. They weren’t quite touching, but Matt could still feel the heat radiating off the older man’s body. He opened his mouth, trying to think of something else to say as Bruce looked him over, but Matt never got the chance. “Matt?” Bruce murmured, frowning again as he raised his hand.  
  
“Hm?” Matt hummed, holding his breath, waiting for the bomb to drop. His heart was hammering, and he began to wonder why he had thought this was a good idea.  
  
“What’re these?” Questioned Bruce gently, his hand hovering over Matt’s pecs, unsure if he was allowed to touch him.  
  
“They’re scars,” Matt replied quietly, trying not to shake from how nervous he was all of a sudden. “From surgery.” The next question out of Bruce’s mouth wasn’t the one Matt had been expecting.  
  
“Can I touch them?” He asked. Matt blinked, confused for a second before nodding, murmuring a soft affirmation which Bruce just about heard. Bruce’s finger was cold as it traced tenderly along the slightly curved and faded scars. Matt watched his expression, wondered what was going through Bruce’s mind. “Does this hurt?”  
  
“No, you’re fine,” Matt assured. “They’re old by now.”  
  
“How old?” Bruce asked, still not looking up. He seemed almost fascinated. Matt certainly hadn’t expected this. He drew in a long breath, trying to get over the fact Bruce was touching his scars and not freaking out.  
  
“Four years,” he replied, watching curiously as Bruce continued to stare at his chest. It was weird, but Matt didn’t feel uncomfortable.  
  
“I knew you four years ago,” Bruce thought aloud, still frowning as he finally raised his head, meeting Matt’s eyes. “I didn’t know you had surgery. How come you never mentioned it?”  
  
“Yeah, I didn’t tell anyone,” Matt shrugged, palms sweaty as he curled his hands into fists, waiting for this whole thing to collapse.  
  
“What was it for?” Bruce asked after a long silence in which he contemplated whether that was going too far. Matt blinked, trying to remember how to speak.  
  
“I had a mastectomy,” Matt breathed. Bruce was close enough that he just about heard it, tilted his head as he tried to put the pieces together. Matt saw he was confused, and sighed softly before speaking up again. “Breast removal,” he explained a little louder now. “I, uh… I was assigned female at birth.”  
  
“I can’t believe you had surgery and didn’t tell us,” Bruce mused, seemingly in a world of his own. Matt shifted awkwardly on his feet, wondering if he should repeat himself.  
  
“D-did you hear me?” He asked timidly, trying to get Bruce’s attention back. It worked, the older man blinking as he looked up suddenly, met Matt’s eyes and nodded his head quickly.  
  
“Yeah, I heard you. I just… I can’t believe you had to deal with that on your own.”  
  
“You’re not mad at me?”  
  
“Mad?” Bruce echoed, his face scrunched up in confusion as he looked at his boyfriend. “Why would I be mad?”  
  
“Because I’m different, and messed up, and I never told you,” Matt replied instantly, and he hated the way his voice wavered as he spoke. He couldn’t start crying, not now, no matter what. Bruce’s shoulders slumped as he heard those words, and he heaved a dejected sigh. Matt clenched his jaw, took deep breaths as he waited for the attack he’d been expecting. He was surprised, then, when Bruce’s next move was to rest a hand on Matt’s bare hip and pull him in closer. They were touching now, and Bruce used his free hand to tilt Matt’s head up so he could meet the shorter man’s eyes and hold his gaze.  
  
“You’re not messed up,” Bruce stated firmly. “And I’m not angry because you didn’t tell me about this. Please don’t ever think that. I’m just annoyed that I’ve been a shitty boyfriend and haven’t been there to support you when you needed it. But please, _please_ don’t feel guilty or think that I love you any less now that I know.”  
  
“You’re not a shitty boyfriend,” Matt laughed, looking up at Bruce with wet eyes.  
  
“Oh thank God,” he replied dramatically, grinning as his arm snaked around Matt’s waist, keeping him close, pressed up against Bruce. Matt laughed again, giddy with how stupidly fucking accepting Bruce was, and the sound made Bruce’s face break out into a grin. The look on Bruce’s face was making Matt blush, and so he curled in on his lover, nuzzled into Bruce’s chest. The older man wrapped his other arm around Matt too, holding him in a comforting hug. “Thank you for telling me,” Bruce murmured into Matt’s hair before kissing the top of his head.  
  
“’S’fine,” Matt mumbled into his T-shirt, returning the hug by looping his own arms around Bruce’s lower back. “I figured I’ve kept you all in the dark long enough.”  
  
“Does anyone else know?”  
  
“Only Adam,” Matt confessed, feeling a lot more up to speaking now his nervousness and fears of rejection had gone. “He knew me when I started T. Hormones,” Matt clarified quickly, doubtful that Bruce would know what he was talking about.  
  
“Yeah, you guys have been together forever,” Bruce hummed, giving Matt a gentle squeeze before pulling back to look at him again. “So you’re gonna tell everyone?”  
  
“That’s the plan,” Matt nodded.  
  
“Well, I’ll be right there holding your hand if you need me to,” Bruce assured, giving Matt a huge grin. “Or if you don’t then I’ll just be in the background silently cheering for you. Whatever you want.” Matt couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have people as incredible as this in his life. He didn’t deserve Bruce and all his supportive enthusiasm, but by God was he grateful for it.  
  
“Thanks, Bruce,” he replied sincerely. “That really means a lot.”  
  
“So, you want that coffee?”  
  
“Coffee would be great,” Matt agreed, watching Bruce go back to fiddling with the machine for a moment before heading back down the hall to get dressed.  


* * *

 

In honesty, Matt hadn’t figured out the logistics of telling the rest of the group yet. He was scared to come out to them all at once, but he also didn’t like the idea of anyone being the last to know. He pushed the issue from his mind when he got to work, engrossed himself in his editing so he didn’t have to think about it for a while.  
  
When lunchtime rolled around, James came up behind him, and Matt was startled as his headphones were pulled off suddenly. He turned to see James grinning over his shoulder, waving at him enthusiastically.  
  
“Lunch!” James declared, and Matt couldn’t help but smile at him.  
  
“You can go without me, I really wanna get this finished,” the smaller man replied, reaching up to try and reclaim his headphones. James batted his hand away and held the headphones up higher.  
  
“You _can_ get it finished, when you get back from lunch.”  
  
“James,” Matt whined childishly, straining his arm in another desperate attempt to get his headphones back.  
  
“C’mon, Matt,” Elyse chirped from his other side, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and giving him a gentle tug. “You need to eat; you’ve barely stopped all day.”  
  
“I’ll get something from the refrigerator,” Matt tried to argue, but Elyse was already leaning over him to save his work. He sighed dramatically and she responded by giving him a huge smile and tugging at his shoulders again. “You’re insufferable,” Matt muttered playfully as he got to his feet, still smiling fondly despite his feigned annoyance at the pair.  
  
“Oh yeah, I can’t imagine how horrible it must be to have people who love you and want to make sure you’re doing okay,” James drawled sarcastically.  
  
“James, you know there’s nothing worse than people offering to take you out and buy your food for you,” Elyse replied cheekily, and Matt shook his head to himself.  
  
“Where are you going?” Bruce called from his desk as Elyse slipped her hand into Matt’s, ready to pull him out of the door before he could continue to complain.  
  
“Chili’s, you wanna come?” James offered.  
  
“Sure, hang on, I’ll drive,” Bruce replied, getting up and grabbing his keys. Nobody else made to come with them, so the group headed out and piled into Bruce’s car.  
  
As they sat around the table after having placed their orders they chatted amicably, having casual discussions about upcoming movies or games that they were playing. James tilted his head, studying Matt from across the table.  
  
“You’re super quiet today man; are you feeling okay?” He asked. Matt nodded his head, giving James a small but genuine smile to try and reassure him.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Really,” he added with a laugh, feeling touched by James’s sceptical scowl.  
  
“I’m sorry I dragged you from your edit,” Elyse said, her straw in front of her lips.  
  
“I think you needed to, honestly,” Matt shrugged, sipping at his coke. Bruce shot him a sideways look, a little worried that Matt was feeling stressed or under pressure. He often got quiet when he was worried about something, so Bruce moved his hand and gave Matt’s leg a quick, comforting squeeze. James narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the pair, gaze darting between the two of them.  
  
“Seriously, what’s going on?” He asked again, trying to keep his tone light, but he was getting nervous. Elyse set her glass down and frowned, lost as to why James was suddenly starting to freak out. A groan came from Matt as he realised how obvious he was being, and he silently chided himself on not having a better poker face.  
  
“So, I told Bruce something earlier,” He started, feeling the hand return to his knee under the table. It was surprisingly helpful in keeping him grounded.  
  
“Are you guys breaking up with us or something?” James interrupted, managing to keep his voice at a reasonable level so as to not attract any attention to their group and its unorthodox relationship setup.  
  
“God no,” Matt said quickly, at the same time as Bruce declared:  
  
“No way!”  
  
“Then what’s wrong?” Elyse prodded, her curious tone a contrast to James’s mildly panicked one. Matt took a deep breath, looked at the table for a few moments before he could bring himself to raise his head and look at the two of them again. He hadn’t planned on doing this here and now, had no idea what he was going to say, but James was worried, and Matt couldn’t be responsible for that.  
  
“Nothing’s wrong, I… I told Bruce this morning that I’m trans,” he said softly. “And I wanted to tell you guys too.” His hands stayed clasped around his glass, gripping it to try and stop himself from shaking. Matt looked nervously between the two, watched them process his words and waited with baited breath for their reaction. Yet again, he was expecting the worst. Instead, Elyse’s face broke out into a huge smile.  
  
“That’s so cool!” She exclaimed, and Matt’s jaw went slack with shock. Before his brain had a chance to take everything in, Elyse was sliding onto the bench seat beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.  
  
“What?” Matt murmured, blinking as he tried to figure out why Elyse was suddenly hugging him. James was grinning at them across the table, and it wasn’t until he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the couple that Matt really reacted. He shook his head before turning it to look at Elyse, confused. “Why are you so happy about this?” He asked, bewildered.  
  
“I’m happy that you told us!” She exclaimed, the grin on her face the most infectious thing Matt had ever seen. He couldn’t help but smile back at her.  
  
“Sorry it took me so long,” laughed Matt nervously, causing Elyse to roll her eyes.  
  
“I don’t care,” she assured. “I’m just glad that you felt like you could tell us now.”  
  
“Sorry if we seemed like huge, judgemental assholes who you had to hide from,” James joked, only Matt took it a bit too seriously.  
  
“No, that wasn’t why I—” he started, but James cut him off again.  
  
“Hey, it’s fine,” the blue-eyed man interrupted, reaching across the table and pulling Matt’s hand off his glass so he could put his own over it. It was a small gesture, but it settled the nerves in Matt’s stomach. “I understand, man. It’s a big deal for you. But it makes no difference to us, really.”  
  
“Yeah, I still love ya, Matt Peake,” Elyse agreed, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder. Bruce watched the three of them with a smile of his own, catching the way that Matt’s cheeks flushed from the kiss, how James was rubbing his thumb over Matt’s knuckles in a comforting motion. Bruce pressed himself closer to Matt’s side and slipped an arm behind his boyfriend’s lower back.  
  
“I love you guys too,” Matt confessed, feeling a little overwhelmed by all the attention he was receiving right then. The moment didn’t last, however, as they were interrupted by their waiter coming over, plates of food in their hands.  
  
“Um,” they said, glancing around at the odd group who seemed to be having some kind of weird romantic moment. “Mango-Chile Chicken?”  
  
“Oh, that’s mine!” Elyse replied cheerfully, raising her hand. She disentangled herself from Matt and moved back around to her chair, not at all embarrassed about having been caught hugging one of her awesome boyfriends. Matt really was fucking lucky to have these people in his life.  


* * *

   
Matt was pretty quiet on the car ride back to the office, and Elyse responded by making sure to hold his hand or keep her open palm rested on his leg. He shot her grateful looks for the concern she was showing, and she beamed back at him, still way too happy about Matt being so comfortable and trusting of them. Even when they climbed out of Bruce’s car, Elyse linked their arms together again.  
  
“They’re all gonna think that Matt proposed to you or something,” Bruce teased her as he fell into step beside the pair.  
  
“I already beat him to that!” James pointed out. “But seriously, you two look like you’re on your honeymoon or something.”  
  
“Shut up, I’m allowed to love my boyfriend,” Elyse replied defensively, pulling Matt in a little closer, away from James on Matt’s other side. James poked out his tongue to her in response and made a silly face before he looked back at Matt.  
  
“Does everyone else already know, or did you just tell Bruce this morning?”  
  
“Bruce and Adam knew before you two. I’ll tell all the other guys today; I don’t wanna leave them out or anything.”  
  
“You don’t have to do it all right now, Matt,” Bruce reminded him gently, knowing how stressful Matt had already been over talking about the issue so much in one day.  
  
“I want to,” Matt replied with a quiet confidence. “You’re all important to me, so you should all know. Plus it’s not fair to only tell like half of you.”  
  
“If you’re sure, then that’s great,” nodded Bruce, reaching out and opening the door for the group to head back inside  
  
“You wanna tell ‘em right away?” Elyse asked him quietly from where she was practically pressed against his side. Matt replied with a casual:  
  
“Might as well,” and a shrug of one shoulder, to which Elyse gave a confident nod.  
  
“I got your back,” she told him, right before they entered the office. “Okay, listen up!” Elyse called, waiting for the others to stop working before she continued. “Matt Peake has something important to tell you.”  
  
“Thanks,” Matt laughed, comforted by Elyse’s enthusiasm, her arm through his own as all eyes fell on him. “I just wanted you all to know, that—” he stopped for a moment, trying to compose himself, to find the words. James rested a hand on the small of his back, and Matt took a deep breath. “That I’m transgender,” he said finally.  
  
Adam grinned to himself and gave Matt a quick thumbs up from across the room, feeling extremely proud of his boyfriend. The other three were quiet for just long enough for Matt’s worries to start creeping in again, but then Spoole spoke up before they could amount to anything.  
  
“So you’re a girl?” he asked, pushing away from his desk and wheeling his chair a little closer to Matt.  
  
“Do you have a new name yet?” Joel added, roused out of his brief moment of shock and trying to be as supportive as he could. Matt frowned deeply, looking between them both.  
  
“What? No, I’ve already done the whole name change thing,” he explained.  
  
“I’m confused,” Spoole complained. “You changed your name and didn’t tell us?”  
  
“No Spoole, he’s saying he changed his name to Matt,” Bruce laughed, but Spoole still looked lost.  
  
“Matt wasn’t born with a dick, Spoole,” Adam chimed, not looking away from his screen as he spoke, clearly not as interested as everyone else seemed to be now. He tapped away at his keyboard, having gone back to work.  
  
“Oh,” said Spoole, dragging the sound out as understanding came to him.  
  
“Do you have one now?” Lawrence asked as soon as the thought came to his head, realising too late that that probably wasn’t an appropriate thing to say.  
  
“Lawrence!” Elyse chided, finally detaching herself from Matt and crossing her arms over her chest. “You shouldn’t ask stuff like that.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Matt assured, smiling at how quick Elyse was to defend him, at the fact he had only been met with curiosity and not aggression. “I’ve had people I know a lot less ask me worse questions. And no, I don’t,” he added, directing the answer to Lawrence, who was still looking a little sheepish about having been intrusive.  
  
“How come Adam isn’t reacting to any of this?” Joel questioned, wanting to change the subject as much as he wanted answers.  
  
“Uh, because he and Matt were high school sweethearts who’ve probably been banging since they turned twenty,” James supplied, speaking as if that were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
“We didn’t go to the same high school,” Adam argued, glancing over his shoulder and just catching James’s grin. “And we haven’t been banging since we were twenty either.”  
  
“Do I need to go higher or lower?” James replied wittily.  
  
“Can we talk about Kovic losing his virginity when we don’t have work to do?” Bruce interrupted before the two could bicker any further. Lawrence was smirking at the whole exchange, and Elyse rolled her eyes as she caught sight of his expression when she sat back down beside him. Everyone seemed to fall back into routine then, getting back to their desks and pulling their headphones on. Joel walked over and wrapped his arms around Matt, pulling him into a tight hug before the smaller man could get back to work. Matt returned the hug with a soft laugh, feeling his boyfriend’s face nuzzle into his neck.  
  
“You know we love you, right?” Joel murmured beside Matt’s ear, and the latter nodded against Joel’s shoulder, grinning so much his face was starting to hurt.  
  
“Yeah, I know. Thanks.”  
  
“Thank you for trusting us.” Joel pulled away and smiled fondly down at Matt, pressing a kiss to his forehead before releasing him and heading back to his desk. Matt sat back down and opened up the edit Elyse had pulled him away from earlier. If anyone glanced over at him for the rest of the afternoon (which, of course, they did), they would’ve seen the soft smile which remained on Matt’s face as he sat, relaxed and content whilst he worked quietly.  


* * *

   
The fact that Matt was trans didn’t come up again for quite some time. Matt seemed a lot more relaxed around everyone now, more open, especially at home with Bruce. It was only a subtle change, but everyone noticed how he was that little bit happier, less stressed than he had been before. It was nice, and Matt felt a huge weight lifted off his shoulders now that he had nothing to hide from anyone.  
  
It wasn’t until they were on one of their group date nights a few weeks after he’d told them all that anyone mentioned it. They were all crammed into Joel’s living room on a Saturday night, cuddled up and watching Star Wars. And by watching Star Wars, they meant that _A New Hope_ was playing in the background whilst they all talked over it. There were boxes of pizza dotted about the place along with the occasional empty beer bottle. It wasn’t unusual for them all to end up sleeping on the couch or the floor on nights like these, even if they weren’t drinking. Nobody was even drunk, and they’d all been on sodas for the last hour at least.  
  
“Did you really lose your virginity to Matt in college?” James asked Adam, following a discussion they’d been having about past relationships. Adam groaned loudly at the question and fell over dramatically, burying his face in Joel’s stomach to try and hide from it. The curly-haired man laughed and petted Adam’s head fondly.  
  
“Can we talk about something else?” Adam whined after turning his head to the side so he could be understood.  
  
“Why, was it an awkward first time?” James pressed again, a wicked grin on his face as he sat up on his knees excitedly.  
  
“It wasn’t Adam’s first time,” Matt said casually as he leaned over James to grab another slice of BBQ chicken pizza. He took a big bite and pretended not to see James’s shocked expression over the fact Matt had answered before Adam himself.  
  
“Wait, so it was yours?” Joel queried, his fingers still running through Adam’s hair. Matt hummed around his pizza and nodded his head.  
  
“Adam was your first?” Elyse squealed, causing Lawrence and Spoole to look over from where they were curled together on the loveseat, half asleep and half watching the movie, but they had paying no attention to their lovers until that point.  
  
“That’s so sweet,” Joel cooed, looking down at Adam and pinching his cheek. Adam responded by scowling and batting Joel’s hand away.  
  
“What’re you talking about?” Spoole asked, clearly having just been woken from his nap. He was still a little groggy, but the conversation had caught his attention.  
  
“Matt Peake lost his virginity to Adam!” James yelled triumphantly, as if they’d uncovered a piece of scandalous gossip. Bruce tossed a cushion at him for being so obnoxious, prompting James to act offended and innocent. That got him another cushion thrown his way, but he deflected it back towards Bruce.  
  
“It’s not even a big deal,” Adam grumbled, but Lawrence was already getting up and making his way over to find out more about the issue. So much for Adam’s plan of not talking about it.  
  
“Why are we talking about sex?” asked Spoole quietly as he sat down on the floor beside Adam’s feet.  
  
“We’re not, we’re talking about Matt,” Elyse countered.  
  
“Matt’s sex life,” Bruce amended, feeling a little nervous about the direction the conversation was heading in. Matt had never been one to open up about this sort of thing, and now that Bruce understood the reason behind that, he didn’t want to force the issue.  
  
“But _why_?” whined Spoole, frustrated that he’d missed the first half of the discussion.  
  
“Because it doesn’t involve any of us,” said Lawrence, pushing his way onto the couch next to Elyse. “So, we have to live vicariously through Adam.”  
  
“Or we could just ask Matt Peake about it,” Elyse suggested.  
  
“No, I wanna know why Adam’s so embarrassed.” Lawrence grinned mischievously, poking Adam with his foot from his position above him on the couch.  
  
“I’m not embarrassed,” argued Adam. “But Matt doesn’t always like bringing it up.” Matt glanced over at Adam, giving him an appreciative smile before saying:  
  
“I don’t mind. What did you want to know?” He asked, looking around at everyone, opening the question up. He was met with silence for a few moments, the group shocked that Matt was actually okay with them grilling him on this stuff. James certainly hadn’t expected to get more than a flustered Adam and a disapproving headshake from Matt himself.  
  
“When are we all having a massive orgy?” James asked jokingly, just to break the silence. That time Elyse threw the cushion at him. When the giggles had died down a little, Lawrence spoke again.  
  
“What did you do? You and Adam, what did you guys do?”  
  
“We had sex, Lawrence, what kind of question is that?” Adam cried, rolling over in Joel’s lap to look up at the man he was talking to.  
  
“Okay then, _how_ did you do it?”  
  
“The first time, Adam topped,” Matt answered, pulling his legs up under him on the couch. Spoole shuffled even closer, leaning on Adam so he could get a better view of everyone before he asked:  
  
“Are you comfortable with what’s in your pants?” Matt felt Bruce tense up for a moment beside him, and leaned his head onto the older man’s shoulder, touched by how protective Bruce seemed to be.  
  
“Sometimes?” Matt answered honestly. “Not sexually though. Having people touch me there grosses me out.”  
  
“But we can touch you everywhere else?” James chirped eagerly from the floor. Matt’s cheeks flushed a little at the implication of James wanting to touch him everywhere. He swallowed in an attempt to soothe his suddenly dry throat before nodding.  
  
“Everywhere else is good,” he assured.  
  
“I can’t wait to kiss your thighs,” Joel mused, whilst Spoole giggled at how romantic he was.  
  
“Wait, you said that Adam topped the first time,” Lawrence exclaimed. “So does that mean that you’ve fucked Adam too?”  
  
“Only a couple of times.” Adam moved again, trying to get comfortable. “Unfortunately.” Matt rolled his eyes at Adam’s complaint.  
  
“It’s way more than a couple,” he protested. “It just doesn’t happen as much as you’d like it to.”  
  
“Is Matt Peake a good lay?” Elyse asked in a stage whisper. Matt’s blush grew darker as Adam nodded enthusiastically.  
  
“Mhm, and he’s not as quiet as you might think he is,” Adam teased, sneaking a glance towards Matt and noting Bruce’s wide-eyed expression when he did so.  
  
“I can’t believe Kovic’s the only one who’s slept with Matt,” James complained with a dramatic huff.  
  
“Something tells me that’s not gonna be the case for much longer,” laughed Joel. “Everyone but Bruce seems ready to jump him right now.”  
  
“They live together; I wouldn’t be surprised if they’d fucked already.” Lawrence waved his hand in the direction of the pair who were currently pressed against one another at the other end of the couch.  
  
“Oh my god, have you?” Spoole asked, realising how plausible that was.  
  
“I wish,” Matt muttered, any embarrassment he may have had about the topic long gone by now. “I don’t know how many times I’ve bumped into Bruce after getting out of the shower, just for him to run away from me.”  
  
“Wait, you were coming on to me?” Bruce cried, whipping his head round to look at Matt.  
  
“Wasn’t that obvious?” Matt laughed softly in response.  
  
“No! I never made a move because I thought you wouldn’t be comfortable with it.”  
  
“Why wouldn’t I be comfortable with my boyfriend hitting on me?”  
  
“I don’t know! Because you never wanted to do anything like that with us before, so I just figured—”  
  
“I never slept with any of you guys because you thought I had a dick,” Matt explained with a small, fond smile. “Not because I didn’t want to.”  
  
“Matt wants to sleep with all of us!” James repeated, holding his arm up in the air with his finger pointed at the ceiling.  
  
“Just not all at once,” Matt said through his laughter. Lawrence let out a small whine of disappointment, prompting everyone to break out into giggles.  
  
“Lawrence really wants that orgy,” Elyse said gleefully, elbowing her boyfriend in question in his ribs teasingly.  
  
“I’ll be in your orgy, Lawrence,” Joel comforted, stretching his arm up to pat Lawrence’s leg.  
  
“I’m not saying never,” Matt added, sounding serious again now. “Just… I haven’t been with any of you on your own before, besides Adam. I don’t want my first time to be with all of you like that.”  
  
“It’s okay, Matt,” Bruce assured him, the arm he had around Matt’s waist pulling him in a little closer. “We’re not in any kind of hurry.”  
  
“Except you two are,” James corrected, twisting so he could point at the couple on the couch above him. “Because poor Matt has been trying to get you into bed for who knows how long.”  
  
“Get Matt laid!” Elyse called, pumping her fist in the air. Matt simply shook his head in disbelief and grinned, leaning his head onto Bruce’s chest.  
  
“I give them a week,” Adam challenged, getting up to change the DVD which had looped back onto the menu screen.  
  
“I don’t even think it’ll take them that long,” Joel sighed. He dropped his head back onto the couch, starting to feel tired. Lawrence smirked, taking a slice of cold pizza from the box on the coffee table.  
  
“I say Matt gets him in bed within the next two days,” he said around his mouthful of food. Bruce covered his face with one hand and groaned, but Matt’s lips quirked into a mischievous smirk.  
  
“We’ll just have to wait and see,” Matt said innocently, catching the knowing glance Adam shot his way from across the room. Spoole muttered a half-hearted complaint about the fact Bruce lived with Matt, claiming it wasn’t fair that they saw more of one another, but he stopped when Joel pulled him into his lap and began kissing Sean’s face in an attempt to comfort him. Adam sat himself on the loveseat and James made to join him, muttering about how his legs hurt from sitting on the floor for so long. He pushed himself behind Adam so the other man was laying between James’s legs and settled in to watch the next movie of the night. The group lapsed into silence and it wasn’t long before people started drifting off to sleep. They’d regret it when they awoke in the morning, they always did, but for now they were all content to snuggle up and enjoy being together.  
  
Matt remained awake for a while, thinking over the whole conversation that they’d had. He was amazed by how accepting everyone was of his body and his preferences, was amazed at himself for being so open, and not once getting nervous. He fell asleep to thoughts of post-sex cuddles with each of his lovers, nuzzled his face into Bruce’s chest and sighed contentedly. That was something he could certainly look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on [tumblr](http://candykovic.tumblr.com)!


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